Rated PG13

Directed by Michael Mann

Starring Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox

Believe it or not, I actually sort of liked the first Transformer movie, but if I were to list all the things I hate about this one, it would take me quite a few hours, and more than a few blog pages.

I am aware it is mandatory to check my brain at the door before entering the theater for most of the summer, but this movie goes beyond the type of silliness reserved for most summer blockbusters.

Here’s a taste of what you are in for while watching this movie:

Illogical timelines.

Humping dogs.

Humping robots.

Jive talking robots.

A robot with testicles (seriously, it’s true. I couldn’t make this stuff up!)

Megan Fox attempting to act (the poor girl can’t even sit on a motorcycle naturally).

Shia LaBeouf even more annoying than usual (and I didn’t think it was possible).

Michael Bay, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I give this one 0.5 out of 5. I give it a 0.5 because there are a couple interesting special effects laden scenes. 

Officially this is the worst reviewed movie in the history of this HeidiTown.

Congratulations “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”