HeidiTown Rant: Leave your screaming kids at home

It’s another HeidiTown rant, and it’s about time.  A year and a half  has past  since  I wrote a rant, about cell phones in theaters. Today it’s kids and babies in theaters, though the cell phone problem hasn’t gotten any better. I’m not talking about children at cartoon movies. I’m talking about kids at the movies I go to – primarily PG13 or R movies with adult themes. I cannot believe how many parents either don’t do their homework about a movie (or just don’t give a damn).

Two nights ago it was “9.” The movie is PG13, but that didn’t stop several parents from bringing their wee ones to this movie. Not only does this movie deal with adult themes, like death, dying and super scary situations, it wasn’t made for children. (Despite this fact, the movie theater obviously knew children would be attending “9” because the previews that ran before the movie started were genuine kid movies – G and PG cartoons.)

The spattering of kids in our theater alternated between being downright frightened, and boredom. The fear resulted in screaming and crying, while the boredom was manifested by repeatedly asking their parents,  “what is happening now?” The boredom was much more obnoxious than the fear, because most kids don’t have the ability to use an “inside voice.”

For me, this is not a moral issue.   If you want to expose your kids to violence and adult themes, I really don’t care, as long as it is not at my expense. Honestly, we pay big bucks to go the movies. Our theater just went up another 50 cents per ticket. I don’t need my theater-going experience ruined by your inability to parent.

Do your homework and don’t be selfish. If a movie isn’t for made-for-children, it  IS NOT  for children.

Lastly, if you are one of those  parents who insist on bringing your newborn to the theater and said newborn cries during the movie, I’ve made a strict rule about this type of situation. I will turn you in to theater management. I  realize the manager is only a 16-year-old with little self-esteem and worse acne, but they do have the power to kick you out, and they do wield it.


  1. I don’t care if it is a “kids” movie. I don’t want to hear your 4 month-old screaming his lungs out during the next Harry Potter movie. Oh, and change that diaper BEFORE you come in the theater. I don’t want to watch the spectacle on the theater seat in front of me.


  2. OMG. Have you actually seen someone changing their kid in the theater? That would send me over the edge… oh wait, I’m already over. 🙂


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