Synopsis: Bella jumped off a cliff. Yes! But unfortunately, Jacob saves her. Also unfortunately, Alice sees it and thinks Bella has died.  Alice tells Rosalie who then informs Edward, who has banished himself to South America.

Alice decides to make a trip back to Forks in order to check on Bella, only to find her alive. But Edward has made a horrible decision. Like Romeo, he cannot live without his Juliet and thinking Bella dead he has decided to kill himself, or rather, get killed.

Edward travels to Rome to piss off the Volturi (the heads of the Vampire nation). He figures if he pisses them off enough they will kill him. Alice and Bella decide they must go to Italy. Edward must see Bella in order to know she is alive.

Alice and Bella travel to Italy and get there just in the nick of time. Bella and Edward are reunited, Bella is almost killed by the Volturi, but isn’t (damn) and then Bella further breaks Jacobs heart. It’s all very dramatic.

Bella, get a life!

So despite Bella’s incessant whining about everything from missing Edward to wanting to become a vampire, this book was more exciting than the first – especially the second half. It’s brimming with thrills, however, it’s hard to get caught up in the drama when the main character is so annoying. 

Bella needs to get a life. The girl seems to have absolutely no aspirations other than being with Edward. I mean, didn’t she have any aspirations before she met the smoldering, beautiful Edward? College, a career, anything? The character of Bella is so lacking in any motivation it’s appalling.

Now I am going to make a few of you uncomfortable, but I truly wonder, is this Meyer’s Mormonism showing through in her character development? After all, Mormon women aren’t encouraged to have goals and careers. The goal laid out for them by their religion is marriage (and children). I have to question if Bella’s lack of any life plan outside of Edward is a reflection of Meyer’s faith. I don’t think Meyer’s is intentionally developing the character of Bella with her own religious leanings in mind, but I do think it is subconsciously coming through.

The other issue I have with “New Moon,” are the obvious set ups. Lots of stuff happens in this book “just in the nick of time.” As I read, I could actually see Stephenie Meyer laying out the plot. Instead of letting the plot play out, Meyer tweaks the story in order to get to where she is so obviously going. I realize every author must play this game, but in “New Moon” it’s so amateur.

Again, I must reiterate what I wrote about “Twilight.” Despite the flaws, Meyer has done something right. I can’t find a specific amount, but we know the “Twilight” series book sales have been in the multi-millions. The film made nearly $400,000,000 worldwide.

So my perceived problems with Meyer’s series are mostly irrelevant in the big scheme of things, because Meyer is laughing all the way to the bank.

To read the entire saga of HeidiTown’s trip through “New Moon” (in chronological order), click on this underlined sentence.

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, Jacob, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Rob Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampires, werewolves

Synopsis:  Trying to behave like a regular teenager, so her father won’t worry, Bella puts together a movie night with her high school friends, who she’s been ignoring due to her excessive wallowing. The night turns awkward when most of the invitees can’t go because everyone is sick. In the end, only the two boys with crushes on Bella, Mike and Jacob, can go. Oh Bella, you big tease! Mike gets sick at the theater and  the next day Bella falls ill. Then, Jacob gets a mysterious virus and Bella is prevented from seeing him. But Jacob’s illness isn’t the flu. No, he’s turning into a werewolf. Just when Forks finally gets rid of the vampire problem, here come the werewolves.

It seems Jacob can no longer come out and play with poor Bella. So now she has two reasons to wallow – the loss of the love of her life and the loss of her boy toy Jacob. Poor, poor Bella.

Eventually Bella finds out Jacob is a werewolf and she discovers why he’s always shirtless (apparently wolf blood runs hot). She also discovers werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies. What a dilemma.

At this point, the real excitement begins. Bella is being stalked by James the tracker’s vampire girlfriend, Victoria. She wants revenge. For protection, Bella spends most of her time on the reservations, surrounded by werewolves.

Lions and tigers and werewolves, oh no!

Whine, whine, whine. That is all Bella does in this book. Shut up! So you’ve got problems, yes. Your vampire boyfriend has left you. You are being hunted by another vampire and must seek protection with werewolves who are actually pretty dangerous (you don’t want to see them when they are angry). Yet you are conflicted, because what you want most of all is to become a vampire. Oh, it’s all so dreadfully dreadful. 

Honestly, I spent most of these chapters rooting for Victoria, and not just because I have a fondness for redheads.

To read the entire saga of HeidiTown’s trip through “New Moon” (in chronological order), click on this underlined sentence.

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, Jacob, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Rob Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampires, werewolves

Synopsis: With Edward gone Bella is a wreck, but she tries to snap out of it when her father threatens to send her back to her mother. Bella discovers she can hear Edwards voice when she does something dangerous, like chatting up men outside a bar in Port Angeles. So Bella decides to pursue rushes of adrenaline. In her quest she finds a couple of run down motorcycles, but unable to fix them herself, she takes them to Jacob Black, the Indian boy from the reservation. Jacob, who has had a bit of a crush on Bella since “Twilight,” is more than happy to fix up the bikes for Bella, and thus begins a friendship between the two. Also during these chapters the killings begin. The rumor is that a huge bear is hunting people in and around Forks. 

Bella Wallows

Wow, is Bella really unlikable in this book or is it just me? Poor Jacob. That’s what I kept saying over and over again while reading “New Moon.” Bella is a user! She is blatently using him. Using him to fix the bikes, using him for companionship, all the while she knows he wants something more, but she knows she won’t give it to him. I’ve known girls like this in real life and I’ve never liked the type.

Bella is also wallowing in her pain over the loss of Edward. Wallow, wallow, wallow. Get over it girl! He’s a old-man vampire who left because he’s afraid he or someone in his family will eat you. Seriously, enough with the wallowing already. 

Stephenie Meyer’s writing is a bit more tolerable in this book, or perhaps I’ve just grown accustom to it. She continues to use adjectives after dialogue, such as “sarcastically,” “hesitantly,” and “bleakly.” And those were all from one page! Thankfully by getting rid of Edward there’s a lot less smirking and smoldering in “New Moon.”

To read the entire saga of HeidiTown’s trip through “New Moon” (in chronological order), click on this underlined sentence.

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, Jacob, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Rob Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampires, werewolves