This life-size, cardboard cut-out of Robert Pattinson, star of the “Twilight” movie, can be found on Amazon.com for only $26.95. And you thought I was making that part up. 

HeidiTown takes on “Twilight,” Chapters 1 – 5

Oct 14th, 2009 by hmks Edit | 

The saga begins…

Synopsis: Bella has moved from Phoenix, Arizona to the tiny town of Forks, Washington. The sun-loving girl isn’t too happy about the move, but it’s a self-imposed exile from her mother and her mother’s new husband. At Bella’s new high school, she is a bit of a novelty. Before long, several boys are vying for her attention, but those aren’t the boys appearing in her dreams. It’s the mysterious Edward, a beautiful, otherworldly creature who haunts her every move and every thought. When Edward saves her from an out of control van in the school parking lot, their lives seem to become inexplicable intertwined.

As soon as I started reading chapter one, I remembered why I put this book down the first time. While I do not claim to be a grammar perfectionist, Meyer’s writing style breaks all the rules I learned from my creative writing teachers in high school and my English professors in college.

Perhaps she gets away with it because she writes YA fiction. Here are a few examples directly from the first five chapters.

Meyer overuses filler words like “that.” Although the word is necessary at times, most of the time it is superfluous.

In order to convey to the readers what Bella looks like, Meyer has Bella look in a mirror. My college English professor would protest. There are many other ways to describe a character without resorting to the “mirror scene.”

Perhaps the most annoying aspect of the book thus far is Meyer’s tendency to add an adjective after each line of dialogue. After Edward speaks, for instance, he usually smirks, snickers, chuckles or smolders. 

Good dialogue should speak for itself. In other words, if the dialogue is well written, we know the character is smirking without having to be told. By the way, doesn’t it seem like Edward smirks a lot in this book?

This being said, I now confess, I am a tiny bit hooked. Despite my irritation at Meyer’s writing during the first few pages, by chapter five, I found myself ignoring these minor aggravations and beginning to enjoy the story. Although I think Meyer’s writing is juvenile, she taps into what it feels like to be a high school girl.

I do not wholly identify with Bella. For instance, I like to dance and although I was serious, I was fairly outgoing in high school. However, just like Bella, if I liked a boy, I was mean to them.

Yes, if you are a male from my high school, and I was mean to you, I probably had a crush on you. The more I liked a boy, the nastier I acted towards him. I had forgotten about this aspect of high school until reading the first five chapters of this book.

Meyer’s also captures what it feels like to have a crush on a boy – the butterflies, the inability to think coherent thoughts when he is near, and the intense rush of excitement at the mere mention of his name.

Honestly, how did any of us make it through high school with all those raging hormones? And why didn’t any incredibly handsome vampires with smoldering ocher eyes go to my school?

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, fiction, Forks, Kirsten Stewart, New Moon, Robert Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampire, vampires, Washington, young adult

HeidiTown takes on “Twilight,” Chapters 6 – 10

Oct 15th, 2009 by hmks Edit | 

Why are bad boys so attractive?

Synopsis: While on an outing to the beach, Bella learns the Cullens are possibly vampires. It’s ancient Native American legend, and Bella believe this may explain Edward Cullen’s looks and behavior. After some online vampire research, Bella becomes more confused and curious about Edward, who continues to haunt her dreams. On a girls’ trip to Port Angeles, Bella is separate from the group and gets lost. Finding herself on the “wrong side of the tracks” being stalked by four men, she is once again saved by Edward who seems to have followed her to the town. (Note: I have been to Port Angeles several times and there is no “wrong side of the tracks” in that one-horse town.) Edward finally reveals his true nature and surprise! He’s a vampire. The two begin spending a lot of time together, despite Edward’s repeated warnings about his dangerous nature. 

I wasn’t planning on writing back to back chapter reviews, but this book is a fast, easy read.

As we age, most of us realize the bad boy (let’s call him Mr. Fixer Upper) requires a lot of maintenance. A fixer upper is bound to have breakdown after breakdown and this gets old real fast. But at 17, the bad boy is so alluring. Edward is the perfect bad boy; not the kind who smokes behind the school, or has a tattoo, but one who kills and stays alive by imbibing blood. Wow! How gosh darn exciting for a 17-year old girl like Bella!

In chapters six through ten Edward still smolders and Bella still stumbles around like a clumsy, lovesick teenager. But as the story unfolds, it gets  a little easier to overlook Meyer’s silly style. Although, I am truly tired of Edward’s continually smirking.

According to the dictionary, smirk means “to smile in an affected, smug or offensively familiar way.” I think Meyer is using it to mean the last definition, “offensively familiar way,” however, I’m not sure exactly because it doesn’t seem to fit well with the character she has developed for Edward.

Why didn’t an editor take a red pen to this manuscript? If someone would have taken out all the smirking, smoldering, and snickering, “Twilight” would be a much tighter read, and probably considerably shorter.

I must admit, despite the dreadfully flawed writing, I am ever so slightly caught up in the story. So if you comment, don’t be a spoiler!! 

A commenter from my last “Twilight” post, wrote “Do we over-analyze a piece of chocolate when we eat it? No.”

“Twilight” isn’t quite as good as chocolate. I’d say it’s more like a bag of greasy chips I just can’t seem to stop eating.

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, fiction, Kirsten Stewart, New Moon, Robert Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampire, vampires, young adult

HeidiTown bogged down in “Twilight,” Chapters 11 – 19

Oct 19th, 2009 by hmks Edit | 

Synopsis:  Edward and Bella have now declared their love for one another. There’s a romantic scene in a meadow, where Bella discovers vampires twinkle in the sunlight. She meets Edward’s entire family of beautiful vampires and discovers they do not sleep in coffins. Edward struggles to keep control over his instinctual desire to suck Bella’s blood.  Bella continues to worry her father will find out about the vampire legend surrounding Edward’s family. Bella attends a vampire baseball game involving thunderous hits, lightening-like runs and unwelcome guests.

I was speeding through this book, but came to an abrupt stop after the chapter involving baseball. Really?  

Also, why would a 90-year-old vampire be interested in a 17-year-old girl? Sort of perverted if you ask me. I just can’t seem to forget that Edward is a 90-year-old vampire. Is it because he died as a human boy at age 17 that he still has the feelings of a 17-year-old? Frankly, I think he wants to suck her blood and the only reason he is protecting her is so no one else will get the chance to suck her delicious smelling blood. Is that really love?

I recently discussed this with a friend and avid fan of the “Twilight” series, and she informs me that the bond between Edward and Bella it is true love and she urged me to continue giving the book a chance.

So onward I read, albeit skeptically and with a slight smirk upon my lips.

Tags: Bella, books, Edward, fiction, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Robert Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampire, vampires, young adult

HeidiTown takes on “Twilight,” Chapter 20 to the end or What I learned from reading “Twilight”

Oct 22nd, 2009 by hmks Edit | 

Synopsis: Bella has gained the unwanted attention of a hungry vampire “tracker,” and has to go on the run with two of Edward’s “siblings.” Alice and Emmet take Bella to Phoenix, Arizona, while the other Cullens try to throw the tracker off track. It doesn’t work. The tracker outwits the clever Cullens and the witless Bella, who ditches her chaperones when the tracker claims he is holding her mother hostage. Bella is almost killed, but just in the nick of time Edward and the rest of the Cullens swoop in to save her from becoming a delicious meal for the tracker. Bella ends up in the hospital with multiple injuries and a burning desire to become a vampire. The book then fast-forwards through Bella’s healing process and ends with Edward taking Bella to the prom, where she can’t stop asking for him to make her a vampire.

 What I learned from reading “Twilight” - 

1. Vampires are good looking and have great breath.
2. 17-year-olds are ridiculous (and I include my 17-year-old self in that analysis).
3. I need to sit down and start writing fiction again.

I started this quest, for several reasons. First, I wanted to understand how this story had become so popular with thirty and forty-year-olds. Secondly, I wanted to be able to speak intelligently about “Twilight” whilst discussing its strengths and weaknesses with my Twi-fanatic friends.

I believe one of my readers hit on one reason the books, while targeting a teen audience, have been so successful among older women. Her remarks centered on Edward’s age. Even though he is in the body of a 17-year-old, he isn’t actually 17, therefore older women can lust after him without feeling like Mary Kay Letourneau. It’s doubtful the book would have made just an impact with middle-age women if Edward was actually a teenager character.

Whether Stephenie Meyer actually thought about this while writing the book is up for debate, but regardless, it worked out brilliantly for her and the publisher.

After reading the first book in the series, I stick by my earlier assertion about Meyer’s poor writing. However, this book did inspire me to get back to fiction writing. If Meyer, with all the smirking, smoldering, chuckling and heart pounding, can write a bestseller, why couldn’t I? And I’m not the only one who walked away from “Twilight” with the inspiration to write.

As some of you may know, “Twilight” has inspired a lot of fan fiction and some of this writing is getting rave reviews. These fan fiction authors probably sat down and started writing for thousands of different reasons – the mind runs wild, and because Meyer’s books are tame, it leaves the door open for all sorts of R-rated adaptations. Whatever the reasons, if a book inspires writing, I can’t be too down on it. 

While the book didn’t inspire me to buy a life-size cardboard cutout of Robert Pattinson, I am watching the movie this weekend, but somehow I still don’t think that particular item will be on my Christmas list.

Stay tuned!

Review of “Twilight” the movie, coming this weekend.

HeidiTown takes on “New Moon” starting next week.

Tags: Bella, Books, Edward, fiction, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Robert Pattison, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, vampire, vampires, young adult